On Idols

I've learned a few things since I said goodbye to anything close to normal when I became a quad amputee. I've learned how to sidestep spiritual and mental calamity when "normal" life is burned down: Rather than pouring myself into a search for an answer to an unanswerable question, I need to pour myself into a God that will never disappoint me and will always uplift those of us who are called to live a harder life.

Jesus was unambiguous on this topic - humans are designed to serve one thing at a time. Whatever you're valuing more than God will edify you exactly as much as those golden calves ancient peoples bowed to: none at all. But, it will serve to stunt your spiritual growth and delay your healing process.

I came to this conclusion after living without my hands and my feet which I lost to a random bout of sepsis in 2017. Over a few weeks I systematically lost everything that I thought and had told myself made me the unique child of God I'd been for the first 35 years of my life.

Having my mortality shoved in my face was not a pleasurable experience by any measure.

But the sterling silver lining running throughout all this is this: in the stripping away of every privilege I'd been born with, been given, or had won, I could see, for the first time, just how unconnected joy, grace, selflessness and all the other fruits of a healthy, obedient spirit are to my external circumstances.